Dating Apps | Dating as Ace

Navigating dating apps as Ace

Do you identify as Ace and have thoughts about being on the apps?

Did you hesitate to join or were skeptical "if this is the right place for you?"

- then this *very subjective* review is for you!

Why did I decide to try out a dating app?

The short version is - I have been thinking about my identity and what I want my future to look like a lot these past years. I am also surrounded by friends who are dating, meeting people through apps or in real-life, are in long-term relationships, engaged, married, and sometimes are having children. In the meantime, my female friendships have always been what is most important to me (and always will be, let's be clear!). But I also started to ask myself:

Why did I never try dating?

I am a very romantic person - the kind that probably over- romanticizes romantic relationships and going on dates. In real-life, however, I never even considered dating because I felt like the odds that the other person also identified as ace, or was okay with someone that was looking for a romantic but not a sexual relationship, was close to zero. In all of the relationships I knew, sex played a(n) (important) role and I could not identify with that aspect of dating.

Yes, I identify as asexual and I am unsure of what a relationship - if any - could look like in the future. So far I haven't really dated. The reason I never considered using a dating app is because I was "afraid" of a situation where I would be dumped in a dating pool that wasn't for me. I did not want to be in a place where sex and physical intimacy played a very important role, and everyone that may initially swipe right on me would lose interest immediately after finding out I'm ace. I was worried about winding up in uncomfortable situations if I did go on a date with someone, and that person did not understand or respect my boundaries. I didn't even know if all of those fears were rational, but there they were.

I knew I would feel safer and more secure in myself if there was an option to "filter" for other ace people on an app. Yes, I am fully aware that dating apps often don't lead to the outcome one is looking for, and that for every successful relationship there are probably hundreds of people cursing dating apps and everyone on them. And yet, I wanted to have that option as well, to be either greatly disappointed or one of the very few for whom this seems to work out.

And that's where this journey started: I went out and downloaded a bunch of dating apps. As you will see, many apps have some sort of trade-off and I think there is still room for improvement for most of these apps to become more usable for the ace community. But more on that later :)

What's this review about?

As I was looking for popular dating apps, friends (and the internet) recommended Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid and Lovoo. I also came across HER, Zoe, and of course AceSpace.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and I might add different apps as they grow popular (or people suggest them to me). For this review I downloaded all of them - the free version - and created a profile. I also used their search and filter functions later to check if there were options to connect with other people identifying as ace.

Also: This is NOT a general recommendation or rebuke of any particular app - and their many many features. I am sharing my personal experience as someone who identifies as asexual and has tried using dating apps to find connection.

Lovoo

Similar to Bumble, Lovoo does not initially ask users for their sexual orientation in their profile. You can select one later but the options are "Straight, Gay, Bi and Other." Asexuality is not explicitly listed and it felt unhelpful to select "other." Again, there was also no option to look for other asexual people (or "other" in this case) in the search function.

Bumble

When creating a profile on Bumble, the app does not ask for a sexual orientation, only which gender a person is interested in. That also means: You can't filter for other asexual people in the search filters.

Tinder

This dating app does allow you to select asexual as a sexual orientation but, again, you cannot filter for sexual orientation in the free, or pro version. There are queer communities on Tinder (as of May 12, 2026 lesbian, queer, questioning, pansexual and demisexual) which seems like a great way to connect. However, there are none yet for asexuality.

Hinge

You can select asexuality as an option for sexuality (which is then visible on your profile) – BUT the app does not let you filter for sexuality. The premium version does not offer such an option either. It does let you filter for gender, which, however, was not as helpful in my personal experience.

There is a very detailed selection of LGBTQIA+ prompts available for one's profile which was a plus for me.

AceSpace

Arguably AceSpace is the most inclusive of all the dating apps I tried.

It was created for people who identify as asexual and is very nuanced when it comes to individual orientation.

It gives the option to decide on a spectrum how one thinks about a potential partner’s desire for sex and interest in romance.

The only real “disadvantage” (and that is a personal opinion, I know some might disagree) is that there are not too many people on the app (yet?) and it is still more niche.

HER

On this app you can put asexuality as a sexual orientation in your profile, but you can only filter for that category in the premium version.
This would cost about 25€/ month (this price was advertised as a 67% discount at the time) for the Gold version.

Compared to "the big three" Bumble, Hinge and Tinder, it also does not yet have as many users (yet?).

Zoe

On Zoe you can choose asexuality as a sexual orientation but there is no option to filter for other asexual members (neither in the free or premium version) - similar to Bumble, Lovoo and OKCupid.

OKCupid

Joining Bumble, OKCupid does not let you put sexual orientation as a category on your dating profile. As a result you also cannot filter for it, only for gender.

Ps. The Identity category does not refer to sexual orientation :)

So what's the verdict?

Well, I would certainly say I felt the most comfortable on AceSpace and wish that more people would sign up.

At the same time, I hope that some of the more mainstream dating apps, like "the big three" Hinge, Tinder and Bumble - change their settings to allow filtering for sexual orientation. The same way they made their platform more open and useable for other members of the queer community - this would *in my personal opinion* be a great way to support the A in LGBTQIA+

While it works for most other sexual orientations, filtering "only" by gender, did not help me. Yes, I am looking for women, but I also want to be able to say I am looking for a woman who also identifies as asexual and does not place an emphasis on sex.

(Ps. I am aware there is an ace spectrum when it comes to sex and that my experience does not universally apply to everyone identifying as asexual - that is why this is a personal review and I hope you still understand the point I am trying to make).

I also did not feel like it was sufficiently clear/ visible to users that I identified as ace. Judging from the messages I got it seemed like even on platforms where I was able to select asexual as a sexual orientation, many did not see that category (or it wasn't at the beginning of my profile?)

In short: This was an interesting experience, but so far it has not led to me going on a date. On most apps I was not able to connect with other ace people and on AceSpace I simply ran into the problem that there were not many people (that I was also interested in from their profiles) in my area.

I will keep you posted if anything changes :)

In the meantime I think it would be great:

if more apps allowed me to filter for "sexual orientation"
if apps then also advertised and publicized this feature to attract more members of the ace community
if apps made sure these features are not only available to premium members
if asexuality was always visible right away on my profile for other users to see

CONTACT

If you have any questions, feedback or just want to reach out, feel free to contact me here!